May 9, 2005

• [ mood ] ::

  
  

  [ quote ] :: "well fran, you met your mr. sheffield..." - jaz, talking about adrian

  
  

  [ xangsta ] :: NEW LilCutieMunchkin NEW

  
  

  [ new subs ] :: brownsugakisses2205, xxnate - taynx <3

  
  

  [ fly monday ] :: blah

  
  

  i feel like i need to change this... but i dunno... people give me pointers... i need ideas

  
  

  anyways i wont put up the fly monday or thursday, friday, saturday, and sunday...

  
  

  but i'll get this all up and ready tomorrow...

  
  

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  anyways... you wouldnt believe the past couple of days...

  
  

  thursday - well... thursday i believe i took my sensation and perception test... blah that was horrible... i dunno havent got that grade back yet... hopefully we'll see how horribly i bombed that.  i got my nails done and actually got nail art (ghetto like)... i usually dont cause i think it looks tacky... but they are like neutral colors so they arent wild and flashy... went to target and got some stuff with jaz... then jennifer calls me and tells me that adrian wants to break it off... and so we both thought it would be a good idea for me to do that first... adrian tells me that he likes me a lot and wants to have something with me..... BUT..... he doesnt want to put the effort into a relationship and that he's scared because he doesnt want to put so much into something if it wont work or get his heart broken or something of that nature...

  
  

  friday - boring... really... except for spending the night at veronica's (with p.lane, ebony, & carson)... some other people were over there but they didnt stay... basically in a nutshell i got fucked up... haha which i never do... i was really out of my element for about an hour... everything and everyone was sooooo hilarious... it was fun but i'll probably never do that again... but anyways ebony and carson were up each others tail ends and i was like wtf? it was annoying as hell... i was under the impression it was a girls night thing... ooops i must have been mistaken. jennifer was calling me every 5 minutes to tell me absolutely nothing... i was aggravated... in the end it was an ok night... i guess...

  
  

  saturday - i went to carolynn's wedding... and i cried like a baby.  got upset wondering why the hell carolynn is getting married and i cant get a bf.  and right before the wedding jennifer was trying to hook me up with some people and i told her flat out "i dont want to met anyone anymore...".  i was through trying to work things out... it has no purpose.  but as i was sitting there listening to the preacher and them give each other there vows it hit me.  how could god not send me someone?  love and marriage and all that mushy stuff... is all a real blessing from god.  why would god not let anyone have that chance?  and it hit me... there is someone out there for me... god knows exactly who he is... and knows exactly when we will meet (if we havent already)... and i just have to be patient.  anyways then i went home and chilled... went to walmart to get last minute mother's day cards (BAD IDEA lol)... but met up with ebony and carson... they pissed me off... so i stormed out like a child which was wrong... but i dont think that was me being rude... that was what anyone would do... there is only so much an individual can take... called jasmine crying... because basically bottom line... i'm lonely, i'm lazy, and i'm tired... jaz is my beam of support... which is funny because she's my best friend... but not like my soulmate best friends like ebony and i are... jaz takes everything i say to heart... and holds it... she doesnt understand how much she means to me... i love her so much... she's wonderful... and i hope we never grow apart...

  
  

  sunday - went to church... my grandma broke down.  she kept sayin it was the first mother's day without granddaddy and it broke my heart into a million peices... how i wish i could have granddaddy here for just a day.  so i could hug him and love on him... i miss him so much.  but i know as much as i miss him and as much as my daddy, my aunt, and my uncle miss him... my grandma misses him most... i couldnt imagine losing the only man i ever loved... i couldnt imagine losing the man i had been with for over 50 years of my life... it rocks my world.  mama came to church (hell has frozen over...) she brought my buhbie and i was glad... went to dinner with my grandma and my daddy and all them.  then went by mary kay's and hung out with them.  i finally talked to adrian and i guess we have decided to be friends... and be there.  we'll hang out... do things together whenever... nothing set, just occassionally... and whenever he feels good about getting into a relationship, i'm here.

  
  

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  alright i'm so sorry that had to be a freakin novel... LMAO

  
  

  anyways seriously... WHO GAVE ME PREMIUM??? i love you... haha  after a semi-horrible weekend... that made me smile BIG time...

  
  

  but i'm gonna go now... cause i have a big day ahead... much love xoxo

  
  

  <3 jay

  
  

  
  

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  READ MY POETRY :: my_w0rds_are_like_water

  • 1:59 am
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