August 15, 2006

  • ok new post... different day... but within a couple of hours LOL


    so jasmine had her baby shower this weekend and it was REALLY funny... it was mad fun... if you couldnt make it then thats really sad... cause it was really nice to do something for her... she has not been in good spirits because of the whole pregnancy thing... poor thing is always uncomfortable... and i knew that it would spark happiness in her... my poor baby courtney couldnt make it cause she had to work so ebony stepped in... and i have to say we did a damn good job...


    a lot of great people came and some not so great people came... and vice verse if you get my drift... basically people that i wasnt expecting to come really came out of their way to show jasmine love... old friends, new friends... the most important thing was that the people that came brought support and thats what she needed... nothing else... after hosting her shower... i think she and i realized who her real friends were and thats crazy to say that you can make that assumption just from peoples actions but it's the god's honest truth... we had fun playing games, grubbing on some damn good italian food (via mama liz), putting on make up, & seeing all the cool baby stuff she got... which now i have to say this... some people decided on their own part not to come because they didnt have anything to offer jaz... i'm sorry... thats dumb, ebony hosted the damn shower with me and couldnt get her nothing... jaz didnt care, she didnt want gifts, she wanted bodies... that proves how shallow you think jasmine is.  when jasmine invited the 5 million people (haha sorry jaz) that she did, she didnt invite the gift, she invited the person... she invited support & love... but to be honest if you didnt wanna show up for other reasons you could have just come out with it... i'll be honest... a few people showed up with no gifts and jasmine was escastic to have them there... and i was too... people who didnt really have to come showed up... people who just formed relationships with jasmine showed up... people who had family emergencies, children, & problems to deal with still came... and some people made up excuses... what do i have to say for that??? BULLSHIT...


    thats exactly what that shit is... i love jasmine with all my heart and soul and she deserves to be surrounded by people who truly give damn about her and love her... and thats exactly who showed up... true friends... and i'm really glad that people who didnt wanna come didnt show up... cause that just made it easier on her... cause nobody wants to be stuck at baby shower with an ole sourpuss... LMAO i mean for real some people didnt come because they truly couldnt... like my babe p.lane... thats cool... and courtney cause she's got a baby to support and she's gotta go to work... but if you aint come to your so called best friend's baby shower cause you didnt feel comfortable around a certain someone... you're selfish... it wont about you... it was about my nephew!


    but thanks to ebony, shay, bryn, andi, veronica, amber, portia, autumn, christine, mk, etc. etc. etc. - true friends are hard to come by


    and like i always say "i remember those kind of friends, and GOD does too!"

August 14, 2006

  • so here's an update on the situation from before... and if you really would like a story then here is one for ya'll LMAO


    i havent spoken to her yet about it but i finally figured out what i'm gonna say and how i'm gonna say it... anyways... let me tell you more about this family...


    mary kay and ron have been married for about 9 years now i think... i met them back in 2003 in my senior year of high school through a friend, tory (who is no longer a friend... thats another story). anyways tory use to watch gabrielle, but when tory started getting involved with the wrong people and acting stupid, i offered to watch gabrielle.  then "goog" was 3 or so... and i figured her behavior was normal 3 year old behavior... it's common to pitch fits at that age... so i was picking her up 2 days out of the week and watching her til about 5 or 6... and then i would hang out with mary kay because for a 39 year old (then...) she was pretty cool. now ron, i've never had a very deep longing affection for ron... he works for the public school system in the refridgeration and whatnot, fixing equipment... and after that he does a side business for cooling and air & occassionally he does gigs as a bass player. then he come home and do nothing, NOT ONE THING! did nothing besides sit and watch TV... mary kay would have to beg him to take out the trash or help with something minor.  mary kay at the time (and still is) working for a doctors office. at that time she had 2 other nurses working with her. occassionally i'd pick up goog maybe 3 days... but never more than that and never for long periods of time... except for summer which i was fine with.


    now the situation is quite different... ron still works and does his side business and gigs. he still comes home and does nothing... now he's tried to get me to do his "chores"... for example when mary kay says "ron please take out the trash." he looks over at me and says this "jenn, i'm too tired, could you?" or "jenn, you have your shoes on... could you?" or just plain out "jenn can you do it?"  or if mary kay asks him to pick up dinner he goes "jenn have you ate? could you go and get us dinner?" and i use to but the past year i've refused. he has NEVER cooked but maybe 4 times the whole 3 years i've known them. he gripes and complains when you ask him to do anything... and i dont mean big deal things... really small tasks that... a 5 year old could do. you'd think this is worst enough but i havent gotten to the other two yet. mary kay still works at the same doctors office except now, she is the ONLY nurse and works until 6 or 8 every night. because she lacks hardcore organization skills she is constantly having to do something when she gets off work and therefore it's sometimes 8,9, 10 oclock before she comes home... and if ron hasnt come home yet... i'm still with gabrielle. she is late to everything and really disregards other peoples feelings at times... and she is very stuck in her ways... if you even offer a simpler solution to something she'll turn it down because it isnt how she does it. now gabrielle... as goog got older i noticed... she wasnt growing out of her baby stage and to this day (going on 7 years old) she talks like a baby when she speaks to her mother. mary kay lets her do whatever she wants whenever she wants however she wants... so therefore gabrielle has this attitude that is kinda like "i dont need to listen to your authority because my mom doesnt do that." i understand she's 7 years old but she is probably the rudest child i've ever met and i kid you not when i say that EVERY night there is an episode of screaming, stomping, and crying with this child. she demands things from her parents and they appease her with something... she talks SO rudely to her mother that i nearly have whooped he ass a few times... mary kay refuses to punish her because she is stuck on trying to be her best friend. instead she just lets her do her thang. mary kay and ron let her eat junk all day... tons of popsicles... etc. and then feed her fast food at 10 at night... NOT RIGHT... i've tried to rectify the situation by feeding her around 6 or 7... but even after that... this child eats and eats and eats. she ends up going to bed around 10 or 11 at night because mary kay and ron have yet to learn that they needed to change their life for her, not her for them. and whenever mary kay goes anywhere... that child has to come. to adult parties, to baby showers, to the grocery store, to the gas station, etc... and not really because gabrielle has to be with her (even tho sometimes she does want to), but because mary kay has to be with her. mary kay suffers from some very serious separation anxiety. she cries when she drops her off to school, and wherever else... it's very odd. and if you ever try to remove goog from mary kay, mary kay insists that gabrielle be with her... as if it's gabrielle with the problem... not her.


    and the lists go on and on and on...


    they are the WORST housekeepers everywhere... so bad that they acquired 10 mice last summer... and didnt even try to clean up where they peed and lived... I DID. when the house is cleaned... I DO IT. of course they pay me for it but still... whenever they are done with something, there it stays... exactly why you will find toys in the kitchen, mail in the bathroom, food in the living room, etc. and i clean it up because i cannot deal with it... it's gross to me... and because of my OCD... it really suffer from panic attacks if things arent orderly and clean. just the other week ron's mother in law did 6 loads of laundry in one day and i followed up by dong 6 more the following day. they live in clutter and flith and it's gross. peanut butter on the counter, sticky tea residue EVERYWHERE... and it keeps on going... it's annoying...


    and the payment situation... literally i am suppose to get $100 a week for watching her, plus if i have to run errands they slip me money... and when i clean the house it ranges from $50-100 each time... they do pay me... but never on time and they are never caught up... i'm sure they owe me a good $500-600 by now but i try not to say anything just because they are struggling.


    but as you can see i'm overwhelmed... i use to only be there for a few hours for a few days a week... now i spend more time at their house than i do my own and i'm sick of it.... it's gotten to be really retarded... i just feel like they take advantage of my kindess, and abuse my friendship. i love them all dearly but they have these outrageous flaws and irritate the SHIT outta me... and it's gotten to the point where i resent them and i never want to have bad feelings towards them because i love them and they HAVE done a lot for me in the past 3 years... they are good people they just need help... serious help.

August 10, 2006

  • going to make this REALLY as short as possible...


    i'm watching goog again full-time... for you new readers or people who have no clue... goog is gabrielle, my best friend mary kay's daughter. i babysit her a lot but now more than ever because she's out of school for a while.  so i'm basically coming in around 8:30... getting her fed, dressed, scheduling playtime, constructing activities, feeding her again, calming her down, having chill time, feeding her dinner, getting her bathed, and settled for bed.


    and this is where my problem is... i'm 21 years young... i dont have a child for a reason... because i dont want to dedicate my whole life to caring for an individual.  yes i do in the future. i want 5 kids but not now... i'm content with being 21 years young jay... i'm ok with this... i like it this way. and i feel trapped. i've been watching gabrielle for 3 years now, and at first it was a "pick her up from school 2 days outta the week and watch her", now it's like i'm picking her up every 5 days and watching her as late as 8/9 oclock at night. and school is about to start back again school and i DONT have the time to do this again... of course when i say to mary kay that i will only be able to watch her 2 days she always complies.  it's always -- yeah thats cool... dont worry about it... blah blah. and then i end up watching her 5 days... i end up picking her up from school when her FATHER is able to... i end up fucking being a nanny for them instead of a babysitter for a few days out of the week. i wanna tell them how i feel (i feel used -- like i'm their cinderella and whatnot) but i dont know how to say it... this is why they tell you do not mix friends with business... it's ugly.


    it's getting out of hand... it's been out of hand for the past 2 years.


    i dont wanna do this anymore. ugh


    if anyone has suggestions on how i might rectify this situation please hand them over...


     


    ps - i got new pics -- will post them soon!

July 29, 2006






  • You Are 68% Brutally Honest

    Most of the time, you tell it like it is. Even if it's hard for people to hear.
    Sometimes you hold back though, because you never want your honesty to be hurtful.

  •  I'm alive... can't believe eh?


    haha IF YOU HAVE A MYSPACE PLEASE CHECK ME OUT!!!


    the link is on this page... you have to go find it... LMAO


     


    gum


    i'm going try to actually write in this again...


     


    here another picture for you guys too: me & my WONDERFUL babe


    me&papi


    ok ya know while i'm at it... lemme just write a thing...


    so since i last posted... um... well i dunno what was going on then LMAO adrian and i are obviously doing great... i tell you, i really cant believe how crazy in love i am... and when i look at some people i say geesh... i wish they had it as good as me... on the friend situation... it's gotten much better... those that were giving me the cold shoulder are now suddenly coming back around... i rekindled friendships back with a special person, my best friend, amber.  i didnt talk much about her before because we had kinda grown apart, but god works in mysterious ways. anyway... i made some new friends too: shannon & bryn. those girls are freakin awesome... i love them. i feel like i've known them forever... it's great to feel close with people again.


    about 5 months ago adrian bought me a blue devil damsel for my birthday... so i've become a huge fish maniac... i mean i always loved fish and enjoyed their presence... but i've really become an expert.  i'll get pictures of him up here soon tho.  just a few weeks ago i bought a betta... and then my aunt gave me another one a few days after that... so i'm officially a betta hobbyist.  i hope to expand my collection of bettas and maybe one day start breeding them, and selling them for a second income.  i tell you good well-breed bettas go for $20-$100 easily.  but that probably wont be for a long time... probably once adrian and i get married... i'll make a betta room and start.


    i just recently started a website about bettas so if you'd like to check it out here : http://www.geocities.com/jnrash85/betta_love


    i have a feeling adrian will pop the big question on christmas by the way!!! i'm so excited.


    and basically nothing much is going on... i start school august 26th... A SATURDAY!!! omg... but hey i gotta take the classes when i can take them... so i really cant complain... lol i'll probably be doing this frequently in the next semesters coming up...


    well thats it for now... man i miss posting on xanga... it's great...


    much love
    jay


     

June 10, 2006

May 29, 2006

May 20, 2006

  • yes i'm posting again...


    lemme just say i now know who my real friends are... those that actually give two shakes about me... and for the first time in my life:


    i am brushing those fucking haters off me and moving on with my life!


     and now


    my granda (yes - i spelled it right, adrian's grandfather) is coming down on friday from scotland! i am so excited to finally meet him... i wont be able to meet nanny because great nanny is on her death bed and she needs to be with her... oh well adrian and i have plans to visit them at the end of this year! ooo YES!


    yeah go ahead and faint i posted real close to the last post... haha we will see how long this lasts HAHA


    <3 jay

May 19, 2006

  • a real post

    who else is in love with the xanga footprints??? haha


    isnt that a great concept? i think so.  i mean i've been using a xanga tracker for sometime now... to check my privacy... i know that doesnt make much sense... i write things on the internet and then get mad when certain people read them... well if you knew the people i was trying to avoid, you'd probably do the same.  i will never ever ever waste my time on an immature boy & and i will never ever ever date a guy off the internet again... cause they are fuckin psychos... believe me... please... never do it...


    anyways i know i dont write much in here... basically cause i'm up on the myspace now... loving it... haha


    so life... adrian and i are doing great still... he's great! now the friend issue is still up in the air... i'm starting to wonder who is my friend for real.  lately i dont speak much with the girls i use to spend all my time with... i'm really not sure... and part of me really dont care no more... cause i'm tired of being upset about it and crying... it dont work... i mean one keeps up with me... the other one ignores the shit outta me... oh well you wanna handle it like that fine... i made my effort... thats all i care about ya know... i try and try to stay up... but it's kinda hard to do when they live in the same house together and what not... i guess people grow up and stop caring about people... i dunno... i know that aint the case for me... i mean yeah i'm hurt... i'm real hurt but i aint gonna bend over backwards to talk to them (when i say them i dont mean more than one person)... i tired of being the whimpy bitch that kisses ass to be friends with someone... i aint in fuckin high school no more... i'm 21 years old... i dont do that... anyways then i got another ordeal... where i'm being annoyed to tears... i dunno it just seems like no matter what i say... it's their way and they just dont wanna see it... i mean i guess i can respect that... you're grown... but i'm trying to help you out... and i wanna say so much more but i dont want to come off like i'm trying to be someone's mama or i'm trying to dog them... cause i'm not... honestly with the whole friend thing... people need to grow up... everyone... i know i'm trying... i'm not there... but i'm damn close


    anyways lemme go to bed... it's 2:30 and i need to get some damn sleep already... i'm such an insomniac


    ? jay

May 15, 2006


  • Your Mommy Is Angelina Jolie


    What You Call Her: Ma

    What people say about yo momma: Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.