March 21, 2005
-
[ mood ] ::
[ quote ] :: "everyone is on crack..." - me, talking to mary kay
[ xangsta ] :: TheOneAndOnlyJ - a super sweetie **
[ new subs ] :: Nickis4urheart, xXxSilentEmotionsxXx - TAYNX <3
[ just click it mondays ] :: didnt i change this?? or maybe i should?
i think it needs to go... HELP ME OUT HERE...
yeah... maybe i should change this to comic mondays... and just pick some comic... doesnt matter... yea good idea... i didnt need help LOL
actually X that... the comic strip wont work... so i do need help lol
AHA!! FIRST DAY OF SPRING!! or so the calender says...
i usually dont go so in depth with the concerning topic because i know someone reads this... and i dont want them to think the wrong thing... but i'm sick of holding my tongue for everyone cause i dont wanna hurt someone or offend my readers... so i'm gonna say it... but i'm gonna leave names out
well ok in regards to the smiley this isnt a good day... it's a horrible day... it didnt come out that way... but it ended that way... so i'm leaving my house and apparently i missed a called... it was one of my gf's telling me that if i needed something to call her bf's phone cause she left her's at home... which suddenly made me come down... cause now i realize they will be spending their time together once again and i'll be left... they have things to catch up on... then my head started racing and i realize "i'm lonely"... i have been for close to 2 years now... because an individual decided he wanted to up and leave the greatest thing that ever happened to both of us... then i realized "i'm the only one of us who doesnt have someone"... then i realized "everyone is gonna get married and move away"... all of my gf's have the desire to leave VA (one is gonna go to a school across country)... and i'll be stuck here forever being lonely... by this time i'm crying my eyes out... i didnt realize this next one, it's a given... "i miss him"... and i was trying to pull myself together and stop crying saying "jay stop it! cut it out now! crying isnt solving this! just stop it!" which i'm sure anyone driving next to me was thinking... "whata weirdo??"
i got to mary kay's and told her what i've been thinking... she told me that i'd never be lonely because she'd always be there... which makes me feel better but i want my girls with me... is that selfish for me to want them? because i need them? i told her "as if it's bad enough that the one person i loved split on me... all my gf's go nuts on me... and then my grandfather dies... i really dont know how much more i can take!" and i really dont... material things dont hold nothing for me... i care about people... even those that dont think i do...
ebony, jaz, mary kay, p.lane, deanna, andi, tory, cory, veronica, amber, rodger, carson, kris, kevin, my family... i love them... i may not show it... and they may not know... but i love them... i'd do anything for them...
ok blah thats enough
i checked my grades on blackboard for S&P (my worse class)... i just knew i bombed that test i took... i knew it deep down... i made a 72... by the grace of god... i dont see how thats possible...
god must be working on me... so i cant be but so mad... he is so good...
ok well i promised pictures a long time ago of people... so yea
this was the day my grandfather died... veronica took me and ebony out to my favorite restuarant for some cheering up... which worked... we thought it'd be funny to do the cop/criminal photo... look at ebony's face LMAO
two of my favorite girls since we were 12!! ebony & veronica...
this is me after my granddaddy funeral... my hair was BONE straight...
my other favorite girl... jaz... my emotional ROCK... <3
my super sweet 16 year old... native american princess... deanna
one of my favorite pics from last night... jackee flippin me the bird...
blah blah blah ok so yea... thats it... man that was a post alright LOL
i cant tell you how awesome you guys are for everything... you guys are so sweet and nice... and everything... i swear sometimes you beat my real friends and thats hard to come by... thanks for everything... much love xoxo
<3 jay
** if you wanna be xangsta of the week you must:
a. be subscribed to me [ poeticmurder2003 @ xanga ]
b. be involved in posts
c. be uber cool - LMAO
- vote for me, rate & review my site... puhleeze <3
SUPPORT THE TROOPS :: Air_Land_or_Sea
READ MY POETRY :: my_w0rds_are_like_water
Comments (10)
You know, I think you look better with straight hair...
I mean, I'm sure you weren't worried about that at the time, but yeah, it looks good on you I think
You're not selfish for wanting your friends around....you want to be with people you like...not just for you, but you want to be there for them, I assume.
Even if it was selfish, so what? A little being selfish never hurt anyone ^_^
hey!
thanks....yeah ur pics are cute too....wel i mean i really like you with straight hair....cute.
well hope everything is all nice and dandy for you.........have a WONDERFUL monday tommorow!
later!
desirae
comic mondays... hmm i like that!
haha... aww hun, yeah some times we have those days 
dont worry though who knows what the future holds? you may be meeting mr. right reallll soon. :wink1: you definately will not get left alone!!! your awesome who would leave you!? hope you feel better.
It sucks being alone... but the only thing that sucks worth is being with someone in a bad relationship. i just keep reminding myself of that when I think i miss one of my ex's. There were times i was really happy with them.. but there were times when i was also at my most miserable. There is Definatly someone out there for you. i went single for a year and a half during one point in college... and i had resigned to the fact that id never fall in love again. but.. i met someone. It lasted a year and didnt work out.. but it helped me realize that i may be single for a long time... but i will eventually one day meet someone. i guess i can handle that.. it gives me a lot of time for my hobbies. Just take life as it comes- your an interesting girl, I cant imagine you ever being completely alone.
i love you honey. and believe me, you're not being selfish. you're being real. i understand where you're coming from, i do...i feel guilty for leaving...this is just the path i'm taking, but i don't want to be in a place where i'm not with you...i hate that this hurts you so much...you never know what might happen...but you know how i stand...we'll talk about it more later...i love you...and you're my rock too...<3xoxoxoxo
awesome pics!!! looks like a fun time!!
Cheer up! +bart+
I'M SWEET? Girl - you are amazing
You're always making me happy and putting a smile on my face !
Friends will come and go, they won't leave you alone though. Keep in touch with them and see them often. You're not going to be all alone - don't worry. You'll find someone who will be head over heels for you - everyone has a special someone, right? Just wait until the time is it right. Keep on smilin'
Rach<3
wow veronica looks different from what i remember
anyways check this out u j lo freak: http://www.seantataryn.com/myumees/html/0017a1.html
ttyl
Thanks for the comments. They really make my day (or night, like tonight) haha!
Aww, I'm sure you will never be lonely! You are awesome and you have lots of people that care about you, which is evident in your "I love them" list =)
I hope your week gets better!
Comments are closed.