[ mood ] ::

[ quote ] :: "if you ever asked your teachers to call you T-Nice instead of Tyler Brandon Williams, you might have went to a ghetto high school..." - me

[ xangsta ] :: EMMAgizer_Bunny

[ new subs ] :: none... IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT

[ dis or dat thursday ] :: i deliver, you dish!

you might know this songbird from being the very first idol and the only idol to ever make it huge with all of her albums... she's gotta set of pipes that puts a lot of female singers to shame... and she's gorgeous... i give you kelly clarkson

thoughts about the celebrity may be expressed in comments

___________________________________________________________

ON THE LOVE.... BOAT!!! WE'LL BE SETTING ANOTHER SAIL...

 yes you got that right... i met adrian tonight... i got it hot for a laddy... LMAO

anyways today was pretty eventful... i talked to adrian for a while and then decided i should clean my closest... which in the process i ended up trashing my room... which reminds me that i need to go clean that... because tomorrow will be a full day of studying for my first exam on friday...

ahh the joys of being a college student...

but yeah hung with jennifer (my cousin), gary (her bf), jaz, tory, and adrian... it was very cool and hella funny... my girls bring out the wild side in me...

but anyways... i'm tired and i must clean... so love ya'll... much love xoxo

<3 jay

** if you wanna be xangsta of the week you must:

a. be subscribed to me [ poeticmurder2003 @ xanga ]

b. be involved in posts

c. be uber cool - LMAO

 

 

- vote for me, rate & review my site... puhleeze <3

READ MY POETRY :: my_w0rds_are_like_water

[ mood ] ::  ahh yes again

[ quote ] :: "if you ever took a bag of plain potato chips and poured hot sauce in the bag, shook it up, and ate them with some fruit punch during lunch, you might have went to a ghetto high school!" - me

[ xangsta ] :: EMMAgizer_Bunny

[ new subs ] ::

[ a waste of your time wednesday ] :: quizzes with html codes too!!

Your Dominant Intelligence is Musical Intelligence

Every part of your life has a beat, and you're often tapping your fingers or toes. You enjoy sounds of all types, but you also find sound can distract you at the wrong time. You are probably a gifted musician of some sort - even if you haven't realized it. Also a music lover, you tend to appreciate artists of all kinds. You would make a great musician, disc jockey, singer, or composer.

this is based on gardner's theory of multiple intelligences which i have been studying personally by myself since i got into psyc... i love reading about it...

___________________________________________________________

ahh :sigh:  i'm in like... yes... tis true... with a scottsmen

what is up with the comments lately??? do i suck now or something???

anyways i did jaz's hair and then it went wild woman effect on me and went all crazy and shit... but she will do EXCELLENT on her interview tomorrow regardless of how her hair looks...

oh so bad news that i never posted on... monday i was suppose to go a declare my major... i slept through the meeting... so i called and they said they would not be able to see me until may 17th... well i cant declare my major then because my grade point average will be like non-existant... so... i cant declare my major and i have to back to advising services for another semester DAMNIT

thats my dream man... ahhh taylor yes.. that smile... breathtaking

i'd marry him on the SPOT... and i would raise his children as if they were mine LOL

i'm so super duper tired... i'm literally about to pass the fuck out... sorry... i just feel so drained... so i'm out... much love xoxo

<3 jay

** if you wanna be xangsta of the week you must:

a. be subscribed to me [ poeticmurder2003 @ xanga ]

b. be involved in posts

c. be uber cool - LMAO

 

 

- vote for me, rate & review my site... puhleeze <3

READ MY POETRY :: my_w0rds_are_like_water

[ mood ] ::

[ quote ] :: “if you ever had hook ups with the bootleg guy at school, you might have went to a ghetto high school!” – me or jaz

[ xangsta ] :: EMMAgizer_Bunny

[ new subs ] :: none

[ this is jay every- tuesday ] :: the rules of a marriage

I’m writing this because a lot of my friends are either married or getting married.  ::rolls eyes::  I’ve had a few arguments with one of my girlfriends about how a marriage should operate.  And I just want to layout on the table what I think a marriage should be like.

1. I am still Jennifer Nichole Rash.  Just because your last name is behind my name doesn’t mean that I’m your property.  When I married you I became one half of “we”, but I am still “me.” Matter of fact, when I get married my name will be Jennifer Nichole Rash <insert new last name>.


2. I don’t really need to worry about this, because we already discussed this.  You have to believe in a higher being.  Obviously you do, or I wouldn’t be married to you.  I’m not asking you to be a bible thumper, or a deacon or anything.  But I do except you to go to church and get something out of it.  That’s all.  And if you believe in what I do, odds are you do get something out of it.  I believe that God put you in my life for a reason, and I know you feel the same.  I hold truth in the saying, “a family that prays together, stays together.”


3. This is 2005 (future years included lol), not 1955.  I do not wash your clothes, I do not was your dishes, and I do not cook your food.  If I can do my own shit, you can too.  I don’t mind doing some things for you if you do things for me too, but all in all, you got two hands do it yourself.


4. I went to college for a reason.  So that I can have a job that pays me something.  I am a grown woman and I make my own money.  I don’t need you to take care of me.  I will have my own account.  You have your own account.  And we have an account together.  I work hard for my money, just as you work hard for yours and I believe we are entitled to our own money.  I don’t mind spotting you, or vice versa because that’s what we do.  We watch out for one another.  But I don’t expect you to support me.


5. My family is a major part of my life, just as I expect your family to be very important to you too.  I value my family’s input, and I respect your family’s input too.  I don’t believe in not having anything to do with your family, or my family.  In my personal opinion, when you married me, you married the Rashs and the Brays.  And when I married you, I knew and wanted to marry the <insert name> and <insert mothers maiden name>.  I want to know that you have no problem being with my family, by yourself.  And if you can’t handle that, you’re history.  Matter of fact, every Sunday we go a visit our families.  I want to be close to your family, and when we have children, I want them to be close to their grandparents, etc.


6. There is a little thing called “we” time, and a little thing called “me” time.  Without a good balance between the two, we will end up suffering.  Lets devote some nights to us (making dinner together, going to a movie, going out to eat, going out somewhere, renting a movie at home, etc.), so that we can have some quality time with one another.  On free nights, we can take the option of going out and seeing friends without each other.  Although it’s great to spend time with each other, I don’t want too much time together to ruin our perspectives.  We constantly need to be around other people, not just us.


7. I want children.  I want lots of children.  You already know this because we talked about this before we got married.  We talked about when an appropriate time would be to start having children.  We decided that we would not bring a human life into this world, without knowing that everything is taken care of and all systems were go.  We want to be mentally, emotionally, and financially stable to take on probably the biggest joy, yet biggest challenge we may ever face together.


8. When raising our children.  We have to come to an agreement.  We give our children every luxury, but we can take it away whenever we see fit.  When it comes to raising our kids, we are a team, not two players who take turns.  Just like I said before, I got your back and you have mine.  I don’t want my children to become accustomed to having one parent do everything; I want to set an example that mama and daddy love them equally, so mama and daddy share all responsibilities.


9. You do anything that jeopardizes are marriage, it’s over.  I made a vow to you and God that I would never do anything to harm what God has put together.  When you fail to live up to your vows you have spit on me, God, and the sanctity of marriage.  I do not condone it and I will not lower my morals to stay in a marriage that condones that behavior.  Especially when children are involved.


10. I love you.  I may be an independent woman, but deep down inside you are the rock that holds me together.  I depend on you to take care of me emotionally and mentally.  You aren’t just the man that I married.  You are my lover and my best friend.  You come first in my life, and I would anything for you.  I know how important it is to be myself and maintain my independency, because it strengthens the bond in our matrimony.

__________________________________________________________

ron read that and said “jay, even jesus cant live up to those expectations!” lol weak

so anyways i didnt update earlier cause p.lane spent the night and we stayed up til 6 in the morning... good times good times

so tory's moving to suffolk... a good 30 minute drive and we drove down there last night and saw her parents double-wide.  that is a hot ass double-wide... 4 bedrooms and 3 bathroom... i was like DAMN!!!

anyways... so the whole deal with justin... i dont know how stupid someone thinks i am... but i called virginia beach city jail... there isnt an inmate by the name of justin barricks... plus if he got pulled over here for a slew of things back in lynchburg... they would have taken him back there to do a case... until i get some substantial evidence that he is in virginia beach... i dont wanna talk to him cause i'm sick of the lies... really...

anyways i'm talking to his guy... hmm his name is adrian and he works with my cousin.  he just got out of the marines and he's going to aviation school.  he's 23 and he's scottish.  hehe thats so awesome... but yeah we've been talking and texting each other the past 2 days... me likey a lot...

anyways i'ma go... i gotta get the baby and stuff... and i'll end up chillin... i'll holla LOL much love xoxo

** if you wanna be xangsta of the week you must:

a. be subscribed to me [ poeticmurder2003 @ xanga ]

b. be involved in posts

c. be uber cool - LMAO

 

 

- vote for me, rate & review my site... puhleeze <3

READ MY POETRY :: my_w0rds_are_like_water

[ mood ] ::  yeah bummed

[ quote ] :: "if the highlight of the pep rally was to watch the gay male cheerleader jump up and land in a spilt, you might have went to a ghetto high school" - jaz

[ xangsta ] :: EMMAgizer_Bunny

[ new subs ] ::  none

[ fly monday ] :: sweet ass html codes... LMAO

block unregistered and unwanted xanga users... i know scott wants this

place this code into custom header

<!-- begin code provided by blogring.net --><br /> <!-- Part I of Block Users Script submitted by xanga.com/sherrys_designs --><br /> <script LANGUAGE="JavaScript"><br /> function redirect () {<br /> location.href = 'http://www.xanga.com/signin.aspx';<br /> }<br /> </SCRIPT><br /> <!-- end code provided by blogring.net -->  

place this code into webstats

<!-- begin code provided by blogring.net --><br /> <!-- Part II of Block Users Script submitted by xanga.com/sherrys_designs --><br /> <script language="javascript"><br /> function getXName() {<br /> for (var i = 0; i < document.links.length; i++) {<br /> if (document.links[i].href.substring(0,38)=="http://www.xanga.com/private/home.aspx") {<br /> var link = document.links[i];<br /> var text = document.all ? link.innerText : link.text ? link.text : '';<br /> return text;<br /> break;<br /> }}<br /> return null;<br /> }</p> <p>xName = getXName();</p> <p>if (xName == 'USERNAME' || xName == 'USERNAME' || xName == null) {<br /> alert("This xanga user requests that you sign-in before viewing their blog. If you are already signed in, you are blocked from viewing this site.");<br /> redirect();<br /> }</p> <p></script><br /> <!-- end code provided by blogring.net -->

if you want to block certain names just change USERNAME to whatever the blocked users name is otherwise just leave it blank

if you want to change the alert that displays when some unregistered/blocked come to your site just change the "This xanga user requests that you sign-in..." part

___________________________________________________________

if you guys wanna make a request just leave me a comment and i'll either put it up here for send it to you...

anyways today was BORING... literally... saw my uncle...

so i found out that the 5 extra credit papers that were due today were due @ 1 pm not 12 am... so no extra credit for me  i'm so upset about that... i know my GPA is gonna look like "who shot john?" but then in a way... getting on academic probation means i'll HAVE to do well next semester... no more fucking around... secretly i wanna be on deans list...

anyways... i bought some new ghetto girl bracelets to add to my collection... i doubt any of you know what ghetto girl bracelets are... actually they arent called that... i just call them that... but they are silver... ahhh i dont wear silver... i wear all gold... but i'll admit they look good with the gold tho...

once i can figure out how to deal with the lighting... i show you what i mean...

i bought some knock off louis vuitton sunglasses today too... awesome...

so with the justin situation... supposingly (i say that once again cause i wont believe it til i see it)... he's in va bch which is like 15 minutes away from me... he's in jail in va bch for a few fines and for being pulled over in va bch... rodney "says" justin thinks i hate him... let me change that... no a part of me is very much in love with him... duh... but once again i have been in the dark for 3 months... i need to know what has been going on... i need to know the truth... then i can think about other things... and i hope he feels the same and is willing to be brutally honest with me...

tomorrow i go a declare my major...

SURVEY TIME... haha

Name: Jennifer Nichole Rash<br /> Nickname: Jay<br /> Age: 20<br /> Where do you live: Seven Cities, VA<br /> How long have you lived there: all my life<br /> Who's your favorite super hero: spidey duh... even tho i'm a phob<br /> When's the last time you had a nose bleed: never<br /> The last time you cried: umm... yesterday...<br /> Last time you had a *dirty* thought: yesterday lol<br /> Last time you did anything in front of a really big group of people: i sang at church for christmas<br /> Do you like Liz Hibbs as a friend: no i dont know her...<br /> Do you even know who she is: apparently<br /> Who is your best friend: ebony<br /> Who is your worst enemy: a girl...<br /> What is your favorite color: baby blue<br /> Favorite food: italian<br /> Whats your favorite band/group: hanson duh...<br /> Whats your favorite cd: jay-z the blueprint, hanson underneath, and kelly clarkson breakaway<br /> Favorite type of music: rap/jazz/r&b/soulful rock<br /> Who do you like: a few people<br /> Who do you think likes you: not sure<br /> When is the last time you took a shower: last night<br /> Last time you were depressed: a few hours ago<br /> Last time you talked to the person that you like: umm well lets see... cory - friday, justin - february, chad - easter, colby - last week, and uh... adrian - tonight<br /> Do you have a super deep secret that you havent told anyone ever: umm no... damn<br /> Do you like adidas: yeah i'm about to buy a pair of white ones cause they are cheaper than air force ones<br /> Do you like the color orange: sure<br /> Pink: yea<br /> Magenta: alright<br /> Whats your favorite color bag of skittles: the original red one<br /> favorite type of m&m's: peanut<br /> Favorite kind of socks: i like the preppy ones with the diamonds on them..<br /> Favorite kind of shoes: loafers, air force ones, flip flops<br /> What attracts you to the opposite sex: HONESTY, eyes, hair, hands, voice... etc.<br /> What school do you go to: old dominion university<br /> What color is your hair: medium brown<br /> Your eyes: blue<br /> How much do you weigh: lets not go there...<br /> Do you think band is cool: oh yea... band geeks are HOTT<br /> Do you worry about your weight: yes i would like to lose another 30-40 lbs<br /> Do you need to lose or gain any weight: i need to lose about 60-50 lbs but i'm cool with the 30-40<br /> Who's your favorite teacher: in college??? dr. habib - american lit freshman year, and professor younkin - pyschology sophomore year<br /> Whats your favorite subject: english, pysc, history, social sciences<br /> Do you/have you ever had braces: yes had...<br /> Do you pick your nose: who doesnt??<br /> Do you drool in your sleep: nope<br /> Snore: yeah... badly LMAO<br /> Any other bad bed habits we should know about: i'm a smoker!!!<br /> How tall are you: you mean how short am i??? lol 5'3<br /> Whats your favorite place to hang out at: mk's<br /> Your favorite store: lane bryant<br /> Your favorite website: xanga<br /> Shirt: umm... anything that makes me look hott<br /> Pair of pants: the ones with the holes in the legs LOL<br /> Whats your email address: jnrash85@aol.com<br /> Do you like corn: no<br /> Do you like your school: at times..<br /> Do you feel safe at your school: yeah... people dont usually do stupid stuff in college... they pull that ignorant shit in high school<br /> How safe: safe<br /> Do you think that your school needs to take more precautions: no<br /> Do you think that dr martens are cool: docs not dr LOL not for me they arent<br /> How many pairs of docs do you own: 0<br /> Do you shop for clothes at wal-mart: oh yea<br /> Have you ever been in an H-E-B: umm no<br /> Do you wear glasses: yep<br /> Contacts: no<br /> Which do you wear to school most: glasses...<br /> Do you think that prayer should be allowed in school: yea<br /> Why, or why not: i dont think it should be called prayer but really reflective time which most schools do... but a time for everyone to have a moment to mediatate, pray, or whatever they do...<br /> Dont you hate that dream when you're falling and then you wake up and you kick the wall: never happened<br /> Do you have any siblings: yeah<br /> What are their names: justin<br /> Ages: 4<br /> Any pets: 1 dog<br /> Names: bear<br /> What kinds are they: chow chow<br /> Have you ever killed your pet goldfish and then have to flush them down the toilet: aww i didnt kill dolla dolla bill ya'll... he had ick<br /> Did you ever kill your pet goldfish, but have your mommy flush them down the toilet for you: daddy flushed dolla dolla bill ya'll<br /> Do you like Marilyn Manson: no<br /> Whats your favorite holiday: christmas<br /> Why: cause it's jesus' birthday, you get to spend time with family, it has a warm feeling about it, and i love getting presents<br /> Favorite tv show: friends, frasier, real world, real time w/ bill mahr<br /> Have you ever confessed your true feelings for someone, and then they totally diss you: all the fuckin time<br /> But that person had told you that they liked you too: before in the past yes... bastard<br /> But what you had told them was just way too much for them to handle: there is no use in dwelling over it<br /> What states have you been to: virginia (duh), north and south carolina, georgia, alabama, florida, tennesse, delaware, pennsylvania, new jersey, new york<br /> Any foreign countries: no<br /> Have you ever comitted a crime: reckless driving in 04<br /> And been caught: oh yea<br /> Whats the farthest you've gone with the opposite sex: all the way...</p> <p>

ok that was enough LOL

anyways i got a big day ahead of me... much love xoxo

<3 jay

** if you wanna be xangsta of the week you must:

a. be subscribed to me [ poeticmurder2003 @ xanga ]

b. be involved in posts

c. be uber cool - LMAO

 

 

- vote for me, rate & review my site... puhleeze <3

READ MY POETRY :: my_w0rds_are_like_water

[ mood ] ::  blah

[ quote ] :: "if your high school football game was covered on the news not because of the outstanding score but because there was a gun fight, you might have gone to a ghetto high school..." - me

[ xangsta ] :: !!NEW!! EMMAgizer_Bunny !!NEW!!

[ new subs ] :: AHA!!! pLaY_bOi_PiNk   taynx <3

[ the sunday seven ] :: copy and paste into a comment

what is your favorite month and why?

what internet service provider do you use?

where do you get your MP3's?

what was the last movie you saw in a movie theater?

closer to who: mom or dad?

what is the one store you constantly buy clothes from?

can you honestly say you've ever hated someone?

________________________________________________________________

ok so... umm boring day... really...

god this song is so deep... i'm getting lost in the words... "i'm so sorry, that it had to be this way, please dont hate me, but theres nothing you can say, to change my mind, i got to go..."

i did nothing but mess around on xanga all day... made some dinner and then watched the bootleg "fever pitch" (jimmy fallon and drew barrymore) movie with daddy... got a shower and headed over mary kays...

i wasnt really in the social mood today... honestly i should have stayed home...

tomorrow/today my uncle comes in from alabama... he's going to a conference in williamsburg so he's coming down for a few days to see us... which is cool i guess... i love him to peices but he's really smart (he's a physicist) and kinda uppity... and he just flaunts it...

daddy said that he went to granddaddy's gravesight with grandma.  those that never knew my grandfather, he was a BIG frog freak.  seriously their house has frogs all over the place... it's kinda funny... but apparently they left a lil frog on his gravespot and when they went today someone took it! how rude?  i mean honestly what the hell does someone want with a frog? how do you steal from a gravesight???

anyways i'm about to straighten my hair and go to bed... tomorrow i have to do some papers... jasmine is suppose to be coming over so i can straighten her hair and stuff like that... i kinda dont wanna cause i kinda wanna be alone tomorrow... i just need some alone time... and she's suppose to be helping me with the papers and doing her own but i dont see that happening cause she always gets distracted... thats a pet peeve of mine with her... but i still love her... i know she'll question me about this... but whatever...

i'm calling it a night... much love xoxo

<3 jay

** if you wanna be xangsta of the week you must:

a. be subscribed to me [ poeticmurder2003 @ xanga ]

b. be involved in posts

c. be uber cool - LMAO

 

 

- vote for me, rate & review my site... puhleeze <3

READ MY POETRY :: my_w0rds_are_like_water

[ mood ] ::

[ quote ] :: "if you knew a girl who's fuschia sneakers matched her hair, you might have gone to a ghetto high school..." - jaz

[ xangsta ] :: Xnight_tearsX - go see her

[ new subs ] :: thejoz (i didnt know he hadnt resubbed LOL), wasted_love_song

[ charlie brown saturday ] :: yea i changed it

___________________________________________________________

before i go ANY further...

let me congratulate my idol, taylor hanson, and his wife, natalie on their second child, penelope hanson. she was born on april 19, 2005. <3

yayee i'm back suckas... haha i'm sorry for the lack thereof friday but i was dog-sitting and house-sitting... and whatever... 2005 and some people still dont have the internet... shame...

100% of you gave a BIG dat for angelina jolie...

i'm kinda mad only 4 people voted tho... haha

anyways this has been an interesting few days... i really dont know why i wrote a protected about the subject being that it was there in black and white for everyone to see... justin (my ex/technically were still together) is in jail... now before you guys go ape shit... i dont know why but i can take a good guess and say that it's due to his outstanding traffic tickets that he never paid... ya know after a couple of years... they will lock ya ass up... anyways supposedly... i say supposedly cause i dont know what to believe anymore... he's in jail and he wants to talk to me when he gets out... i really dont know what he could possibly say to me... there is no us anymore... i wish there could be but after the stunts he's pulled... no.  i loved him... but that chapter of my life is closed.  maybe friends... maybe...

speaking of love and ex's... i mustered enough guts to text cory today (or yesterday i should say)... basically i was trying to come to terms with him... i really want us to be friends... it took him like 12 hours to answer me back but he did say it was cool... but then again we shall see... cause we're always cool until he goes and says something out of line about me to someone else... but he made it perfectly clear to me... no romance.  which i'll admit... my heart is broken into a million peices but then i'm glad he talked to me... he really means a lot to me... love wise, friend wise... person wise.  he doesnt know what a great person he really is... hopefully one day he will see that.  but i dunno... i'll just pray we maintain the friendship... cause only god knows if that will last or grow...

anyways i just want to say that i love jaz... i know sometimes you get on my everlovin nerves, but you do a lot for me and you mean so much to me.  remember that anytime i give you advice it's because i know that deep down its the best thing for you to do.  people will make mistakes but you will figure out what is best... i just hope you remember all the things i say.

and i'm so happy that p.lane and i have been hanging out again... we're like peas and carrots (ooo forrest gump) lol... i missed her and she is really someone that i connect with on a deep deep level...

i miss ebony... but i'ma leave it at that... ya know...

ugh god... daddy just killed one of those palmetta bugs... they are like cousins to a roach... they live under the trees and when it rains they come in the house... ugh... GROSS...  they freak me out cause they are SUPER big... ya'll southern people probably know what i'm talking about...

anyways... i'ma go to bed cause i hardly got any sleep over that lady's house... i was straight paranoid out of my mind the whole night.  and those damn dogs woke me up at 6:00 and then every half an hour following that barkin their asses off for no apparent reason... ugh...

so goodnite my loves... much love xoxo

<3 jay

** if you wanna be xangsta of the week you must:

a. be subscribed to me [ poeticmurder2003 @ xanga ]

b. be involved in posts

c. be uber cool - LMAO

 

 

- vote for me, rate & review my site... puhleeze <3

READ MY POETRY :: my_w0rds_are_like_water

theres a protected posting... so check your protected posting tab in subscriptions to see if you're on the list... if you arent.... nothing personal... i just only have 10 people i can send to...

<3 jay

[ mood ] ::

[ quote ] :: "if you sat next to trynetta, precious, and lashondra in biology class, you might have gone to a ghetto high school!" - me

[ xangsta ] :: Xnight_tearsX

[ new subs ] :: none...

[ dis or dat thursday ] :: i deliver, you dish...

yea... she's a bit on the weird side by carrying a vile of billy bob's blood. but she has made up for that in her amazing movies like "taking lives", "tomb raider", and "girl, interrupted", among many others.  she also plays her part in international and national advocacy. yes people, watch out! it's angelina jolie...

____________________________________________________________

hey guys... wassup?? nothing... haha sitting here on the phone with jasmine... she's talking my ear off... god i love her but the girl can TALK... i called in the intention of being off the phone 15 minutes tops... i should have known better LMAO

today i did some work on my computer science project... jesus i hate that class... i really really really do... which reminds me i need to check my school email account...

today was kinda boring... i hate it when days are like that... the day went by so quickly that my head spun... honestly...

funny thing... i got an interesting visitor on my site yesterday.  i wont put any names out there cause everyone and their mama will start a spiel about it.  but here's a little comment for that person: i dont hear from you in what? almost 3 months and then you wanna pop out of nowhere, being sneaky and deceiving. unfortunately i remember everything (no excuse me), every LIE, that came out your mouth. so of course i remember a stupid name of a place that never existed.  so if you wanna know what i've been up to be a man about the situation and ask me your damn self, dont hide behind a screen name. please dont read my site like you really give a damn cause if you did i would have heard from your sorry ass.

sorry guys... that was a bit out there... i'm sure the majority of you know exactly who i'm talking to... but for the love of god... let's not go there.

i've got a BIG day ahead of me... so i'm ghost. much love xoxo

<3 jay

** if you wanna be xangsta of the week you must:

a. be subscribed to me [ poeticmurder2003 @ xanga ]

b. be involved in posts

c. be uber cool - LMAO

 

 

- vote for me, rate & review my site... puhleeze <3

READ MY POETRY :: my_w0rds_are_like_water

[ mood ] ::

[ quote ] :: "if someone freestyled their oral presentation, you might have went to a ghetto high school..." - me (YES THIS WILL BE THE QUOTES NOW)

[ xangsta ] :: Xnight_tearsX

[ new subs ] :: none... whatever

[ a waste of time wednesday ] :: quizzes with html codes too!

You Are Best Described By...

From the Lake, No. 1 by Georgia O'Keeffe

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i just posted for yesterday like 5 hours ago... so if you missed that... please scroll down... lol

 well i had a serious talk with my dad about how i think school is going... i told him that more than likely i will be on academic probation (jaz zip it... i really will be)... i have never had that happen... basically i told him... this semester has been a big joke to me, but odu will be getting the last laugh.  i told him that i'm willing to have restrictions set for curfew and things of that nature and he suggested that i get a part-time job.  i'm not a dumb person, i just dont apply.  i never thought i'd become that type of person but i am now.  i'm a procrasinator at best and a skippy.  i dont want to be that person.  i hate that people think because i have a low gpa that i'm stupid... i'm not.  i just took college as a big joke... funny it took 4 semesters to realize it's not.  i spend way too much time worrying about everyone else. and thats wrong... like p.lane said tonight... "it may sound selfish, but you need to be doing for jay, not nobody else!" and she's absolutely right.

i know what some of you are thinking... no, i'm not leaving xanga because of this... haha no way.  i was just posting what i've come to know now.  i'm still doing regular format and will be until the day i die or xanga goes bankrupt LOL

i dont think i'm gonna be doing the poetry xanga much anymore... i dunno i may change my mind... but i will post this... it's about my grandma and my granddaddy (the one who passed away in jan)

ordinary heroes

you think your lives are simple / and that you presence doesnt effect the world / but i cannot express in laments terms / what a challenge it must have been to help raise your son's little girl / my mind was like a sponge / so i absorbed all your traits / i hope that i can be just like the two of you / right down to the wrinkles on your face / you brought me up classy / dressed me pretty in dresses of pink / showed me how to love my god / taught how a good person should think / and i promise i'll never forget / the grass stains on granddaddys pants / and i swear i'll never forget / how grandma use to brag about how i sang and danced / i wont forget the flyswatter / or the jerking of granddaddy's neck / i wont forget the smell of grandmas perfum on the seatbelt / dont worry, dont fret / constantly visitin' people / praying for others / teaching god's word in church / helping needy sisters and brothers / if i could be just understand the courage that it takes / if i could comprehend the sacrifice here at stake / then i'd understand the the power of god's love too / i feel so proud to be a portion of the two of you / to people you are just regular people / thats for all that they know / but then could never see what i see / a set, a couple, a perfect match of ordinary heroes

anyways i'm sorry that this post is kinda morbid... i didnt mean for it to be... i'd just been kinda down lately but i understand i was wrong this whole time.  i was lazy, wrong, and stupid. and i will face the music like everyone else does.

ya'll please pray for me... much love xoxo

<3 jay

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[ mood ] ::

[ quote ] :: "if there was a fight in the cafeteria and someone picked up a chair and lauched it across the room, you might have went to a ghetto high school" - me

[ xangsta ] :: Xnight_tearsX

[ new subs ] :: SlM182004 i had another one but i guess they deleted LOL

[ this is jay every- tuesday ] :: i'm not in the mood

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sorry guys... i dont wanna seem lazy but i wasnt much in the mood for talking about something philosophical right now... i'm just updated really quick so i can head to the library and be there until about 11:30... haha yeah

THE LIBRARY IS THE NEW CHILL-SPOT...  NOT!!!!

anyways i do wanna blow off a bit of steam... first point i will be like destiny's child in the first bash and say: "i wont say no names...." LOL

i cannot stand lying men... they drive me up a damn wall... first of all if you're gonna do something completely retarded you might wanna be a little smart and clean up your tracks... second, when you're caught the first time you should have learned a lesson... dont go back and do the same shit and for the love of god, mary, joseph and all the 12 disciples if you do it again and get caught dont even think about lying about it... men have this funny thing... they think women are stupid... bitch, ya'll the stupid muthafuckas for thinking you can do it... a woman knows everything and we play dirty tricks... so dont go there... i wish a man would lie to me... i'd make him have a whole new appreciation for the member below...

second steam blowing thought... this weekend ron and mary kay were gone for the weekend... mk asked me to watch the house... FINE! so i was prepared to do the housesitting and whatnot... here comes tory thinking she got this down... she kept calling me this weekend going... "dont worry about going over cause i let rags out and fed her... blah blah"... and i was like wait a min! arent i suppose to be doing that??? so i got pissed and just let her do the damn thing... ron and mk come home sunday afternoon and ron starts asking me a billion questions "why was the toliet seat up?" and "there was a wet spot in the middle of the floor, do you know anything about that?"... now here's the funny part... tory was the ONLY person in that house that weekend besides me and sade friday night... why the fuck was the toliet seat up??? cause there was a boy in the house... who put that boy in there??? TORY!!!... ron confronts her and she said... "i dunno you better ask the other girls"... WHAT??? 4 people have keys: me, tory, ebony, and jaz... i wont there cause i got pissed and let ms. know-it-all do it her own damn self... jaz was with her dad all weekend and she dont know any males (thats a shame...)... and ebony has walked off the face of the earth so it wasnt her... hmm keep on lying... karma is a real bitch... everyone knows she's lying we just acted like it was a big mystery...

ok well geez that was crazy... anyways i'm off... much love xoxo

<3 jay

** if you wanna be xangsta of the week you must:

a. be subscribed to me [ poeticmurder2003 @ xanga ]

b. be involved in posts

c. be uber cool - LMAO

 

 

- vote for me, rate & review my site... puhleeze <3

READ MY POETRY :: my_w0rds_are_like_water