[ mood ] ::  damn computers

[ quote ] :: "if you knew 10 antuanes in school, you might have went to a ghetto high school!" - me, scheming with jaz about our book "you might have went to a ghetto high school if..."

[ xangsta ] :: Xnight_tearsX

[ new subs ] :: a few and i'll name them later...

[ fly monday ] :: change the eprop image

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alright well i'm in the computer lab looking up stuff... i swear to god i hate this school, i hate this computer lab, i hate these computers, and i hate the people that go to this god forsaken school...

haha go monarchs! whatever

i chilled with ebony, p.lane, carson, and jaz yesterday... all good...

mary kay got into a really BAD accident this morning... her truck flipped over, went over the guardrail, and in a ditch... she's ok tho... praise god... and googie wasnt in the car with her either... another praise... god is good

anyways i'm not in the best mood right now.  i'm sick, the computer is being a bitch, i have MAD work to do, and i gotta pick up googie... geez...

i have a crush... i've been crushing on him since back in... '02... hmm <3

i know some of ya'll hate britney spears... but i adore her... so i had to post

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline

23-year-old pop star Britney Spears has announced that she's pregnant. Britney and her husband, Kevin Federline, posted a note to fans on Spears' website that says, "The time has finally come to share our wonderful news that we are expecting our first child together." Spears much-delayed fifth album was planned for a summer release in the U.S. There's no word on whether her pregnancy will delay its release even further. Spears was very public about her wish to be a "young mom." She's already had some practice. Federline has two children from his previous relationship with actress Shar Jackson. His daughter Kori is two years old and son Kaleb is eight months old. In other news, it has also been reported that Britney and Kevin's upcoming reality show for UPN will premiere on May 17.

i really wish her the best... cause i have a feeling it isnt gonna work out... i mean c'mon... you married a guy that left his pregnant girlfriend for you! what makes you think he'll stick around... but i hope he does... i really do

but i'm gonna cut this short... i'm gonna go try to find and copy these articles... i hope everything works out... if ya'll pray would you PLEASE keep me in your prayers... taynx ya'll much love xoxo

<3 jay

- vote for me, rate & review my site... puhleeze <3

READ MY POETRY :: my_w0rds_are_like_water

wtf happened to my modules?? where is my calender? where is my mood?

ugh. xanga, you and i need to have a long talk... 646 days and you still pull this??

by the way... i've been cheating on you with myspace.

[ mood ] ::  guess who's back? back again. jay is back. tell a friend.

[ quote ] :: "that was when i was at somewhat 'baller status'" - kristian, talking about when he was ballin (he still is... liar lol)

[ xangsta ] :: !!NEW!! xnight_tearsx !!NEW!!

[ the sunday seven ] :: copy & paste into comments

how did you ever survive without me?

forget the 'dont label me' crap, whats your label?

what college do you attend (going to attend)?

besides xanga what other sites do you regularly visit?

name someone you miss desperately?

what do your bedsheets look like?

do you collect anything? or are there things you always have to buy?

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yea... no more hiatus...  well i may not be updating everyday until after the end of april but those days that i can... those will be in the old format...

anyways... yeah i did a little switcharoo on the old xanga... cleaning it out... try to find some interesting things to put up here... like scripts and stuff... i seems like blogring and createblog all have the same old stuff... i'm trying to step it up a notch...

i have to post these wonderful, adorable, precious pictures of amber's little boy, my nephew, shawn bryant templin

look at that handsome little bug... aka bump bump

such a goofy little boy...

mommy is so funny...

isnt he a frigin cutie pie??? too bad i'm 20 years older than him... too bad i'm his aunt LMAO... he's gonna be such a heartbreaker... i just know it...

anyways this is an addition to the original post... i went back into time on my posting calender one year... i read the post for april 17th, 2004... i remember this time oh so well... not a fun time... go and read 04.17.04 - turn the volume down on your computer since both pages play music...

matter of fact... thats what fridays will be... flashback fridays... old posts...

well i basically have... ready for this... 15 papers due this week... i have 9 due tuesday, 1 due wednesday, and 5 due next monday... phew...

lately... ebony and i have had a bit of a falling out... matter of fact i havent seen her in 2 weeks... she dodges phone calls and when she does answer the phone she doesnt really sound too enthusiastic to hear from me.  it's hurts a lot to be brushed aside the way i have... but i really dont have the time to chase her and persue her like i use to.  i dont want a challenge anymore...

anyways i need to take a shower and get in bed.  i have to go to church tomorrow.  much love xoxo

<3 jay

- vote for me, rate & review my site... puhleeze <3

READ MY POETRY :: my_w0rds_are_like_water

ok... so new layout... i didnt make it... but i did tweek it cause it wasnt exactly what i liked so i messed around with a few things... put the picture up there... thats kurt halsey... great artist... i love him <3

i just felt like i needed to change things... and i'm cleaning out xanga... going through stuff... spring cleaning for when i come back... which will probably be not next week but week after...

taynx for being so patient guys... i love ya'll

wow i know 3 updates in 2 days... after this week i think hiatus will be gone cause i have 15 papers due within the next week so i will be a busy little beaver but it's all good... stressin man stressin

mainly i wanted to write this post because i wanted to touch on an important subject: love... whatever you have it... because it seems to be the big discussion on xanga and in my personal life... so yeah... first before i go into what i'd like to say really... i'm gonna put a scripture from the bible in here... i dont want anyone to be offended... this is what GOD says and i believe it whole heartedly...

¹ If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ² And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³ If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. ⁴ Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; ⁵ it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; ⁶ it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. ⁷ Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. ⁸ Love never ends; as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹ For our knowledge is imperfect and our prophecy is imperfect; ¹⁰ but when the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass away. ¹¹ When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways. ¹² For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood. ¹³ So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.  1 Corinthians 13

this is one of the most powerful messages i have ever read from the bible... it means so much to me... matter of fact when i marry, i want one of my family members to recite this passage...

to me you can read it and take from it what you believe inside... i agree with paul when he wrote this because the whole book of corinthians speaks on the ignorance of people.  corinthianize means to live shamelessly and immorally.  and so i believe paul wrote this book for people who lose their way in life... to me the passage is kind of like paul smacking you in the face saying "you think you know what love is really like... but you're wrong!"  paul says i could possess anything in this world (materials are something that people build themselves on) but if i dont have love, my life doesnt mean anything.  personally without GOD's love, without my family's love, and without my friend's love... live isnt worth living.

paul talks about how love is all these things.  things that we take for granted in people.  has a friend ever been with you through the hardest of times? they were being patient.  has a friend ever put you first before themselves? thats where paul says love is not self-seeking.  i could go on... with every adjective he uses i look back on every relationship or friendship i've had and i realize it was love.

paul goes on to say that when we come to a certain age we dont delve into doing childish things anymore.  it's time to grow up and be an adult.  no playing games... nothing. 

i picked this scripture because i read someone's xanga today and all she did was talk about her boyfriend.  how he does this and how he does that.  she even went in to say how good he was in bed.  honestly that cant be love.  love isnt boastful.  when you love someone it's okay to speak about them, but you should be more concerned on their inward appearance and how beautiful they are inside... not just what they do or what you do with them.  it goes without saying that if you love someone so much, the words escape you.  those that feel that kind of love know what i mean.  i cannot express in words how much in love i am with cory, how great of a person he is, and how great of person he has made me.  thats love.  and it gives me serenity to read that "love never fails." i have hope in knowing that whatever happens will happen.  GOD cannot possibly take that love away from me.

well man i feel like a preacher... i hope you guys took something from that... i may do this again in the future... if you guys wanna know what the bible says about certain things... ask me... i'm all ears... but i need to finish my paper so i bid ya'll g'nite (country bumpkin right there for ya) lol much love xoxo

<3 jay

Your Linguistic Profile:

60% General American English

20% Dixie

15% Yankee

5% Upper Midwestern

0% Midwestern

haha dixie!!! just scroll down for yesterdays post...

ooo wow look at me.... i'm at school :gasps: in the library... i didnt even know this building existed... haha i'm so kidding i've been to the library maybe 20-30 my college life (which as been a year and a half)... thats kinda sad tho... oh well at least i've been here...

i feel really smart now... i was researching... ooo ahhh

i was researching "binocular depth perception" and "monocular deprivation".  I was also researching for my 8 page paper which i titled "The Musical Ear: Auditory Cortical Arousal in Musicians". sounds spiffy dont it? haha  i always was researching for my extra credit article summaries... which i felt very naughty searching up sex related topics in the library (for psychology of sex)... LMAO

i have been here for a hour and a half straight... 3 people have sat down next to me and left in that time frame... LOL

i owed the library 8.50 in fees and fines... haha for book i've had out since november or december... haha i cant remember...

ooo yes good news!!! april 25th i declare my major... YES!

but seriously i'm gonna go now... i figured i'd post... i'm gonna leave campus now... take my 15 minute drive home... do some crap... and then probably get my nails done (finally... they might break off soon LOL)... and that is an uneventful day for a 20 year old college student... woopie doo... love you guys...

you're all so awesome and terrific!.... really you are...

much love xoxo

<3 jay

yeah i dont feel like copy and pasting with this old '95 computer LOL

 

ok hey guys... little update... i wont even lie and say i've been great... i've been pretty much upset, hurt, offended, pissed off, confused, and down right irritated since my last post...

i feel like i'm neck deep in everything... i'm really honestly sick of it...

school is blah... i've overslept twice... which sucks...

i cut my hair... not really short... but i got it layers... i like it...

finally i feel like i'm the only one with a sane brain sometimes... i feel like everyone around me is on crack and i'm the only sober one... i knew as i got older i'd come to realize how different i am from other people and how much differently i was raised than other people but damn... what the hell is going on??? i'm confused! i feel like only 2 people actually have their heads straight and are thinking clearly.  i wont even say their names because everyone will get pissed cause i didnt say their names instead.  but i honestly feel like too many people get into things and do things without thinking... and amazingly when things go wrong they always come to you for some kind of support.  but i dont know what to say to them anymore... it's not that i'm sick of hearing it... but ultimately i dont understand why it's a big deal. 

and i hate when people say one thing and do another... like the rules dont apply to them... and they point the finger at everyone else but really they should be worrying about themselves... ugh

i'm so upset and pissed and hurt and ugh...

oh well thats life i guess... anyways i'm gonna go pick up the goog... i'll update whenever... papa roach is suppose to be playing but i dunno whats going on with it... much love xoxo

<3 jay

ps - i dont feel like copying all that crap and putting it in here so scroll down...

ps - hiatus may be done in another week or two

lala update... haha did you guys miss me??? haha i hope so...

anyways just wanted to write a fews things... clear my head...

R.I.P. - Nancy Jo Coleman - 04.07.04

"absent with the body, present with the lord"

it's been a year since my friend, nanny, was killed in a car accident.  she was only 14 years old.  i'd known her practically all her life, growing up in church together.  she was an amazing girl... and she is very missed by her wonderful family and her church family. please people when you drive, drive safely! i love you nanny! <3 xo

ok enough sad stuff... even tho i kno she's havin a BALL with god right now

i've learned this great new concept called "going to class!" it's great, i love it! haha really feel like i'm learning stuff again... i should have never stopped in the first place... anyways you guys remember that GOD AWFUL brief paper i had to write for sensation and perception? and i basically just wrote bullshit off the top of my head??... I MADE A "B" ON IT!!! haha suckas....

today ADT came a put the alarm system in our house... kinda weird... i'm so freaked out now about people breaking in... and then my dad is telling me all these scenarios and what i should do in case something happens... ugh... good luck with me sleepin tonight...

god is good, all the time... and all the time god is good.  that is the honest to god truth.  today jasmine got a flat tire in farm fresh.  these total strangers (older black biker boys LOL) came and were gonna put the donut on the car... they didnt have a jack... and then all the sudden this other man comes out of nowhere and is like "do you need a jack?"... we thanked those men a million times and asked god to bless them... amazing...

now i only wish god would do some other things... LMAO

anyways i have 5 extra credit papers to write, and 8 page literature review paper, 9 article summaries, another paper, and computer modules to do in the next week... pray for me... i'm gonna need it...

i miss you guys... i cant wait til school is squared away! much love xoxo

<3 jay

- vote for me, rate & review my site... puhleeze <3

SUPPORT THE TROOPS :: Air_Land_or_Sea

READ MY POETRY :: my_w0rds_are_like_water

yeah still on hiatus... haha but it's all good in the hood...

i had fun today... with ebony, jaz, & carson... it was cool... seems like things are back to the old days...

i only wish certain things could go back to the old days too... yea cory was in town... it broke my heart... it really did... but it's one of those things... i gotta hold on and be strong... cause god will do whatever he wants with that...

anyways thats all i really wanted to say... i cant seem to get a good pic of my tattoo... which sucks but whatever... i might have to take a real picture...

here's a little something i wrote for a certain person

burning bridges - jnr

funny how it seems / you think you have all the time in the world / but my deepest fear plays loud / that i'll be too much woman for you, not the girl / i'll be way too strong / to stop having the faith that i do / but then again there couldnt be enough strength / to prevent me from loving you / too immature to keep you / this is what you've known / but you must be so blind / not to see the ways in me that have grown / outwards and expanded / my heart has landed / on the other side of this canyon / on this other side of our love / so baby i'm begging you to come along / you've been burning bridges for so long / so baby i'm pleading, come on and love it's your turn / come on baby before my own bridges i burn

nite ya'll much love xoxo

<3 jay

- vote for me, rate & review my site... puhleeze <3

SUPPORT THE TROOPS :: Air_Land_or_Sea

READ MY POETRY :: my_w0rds_are_like_water